The thing/object/being that brings me the most joy in life is dying. Back in January I learned that Steve's heart murmur had finally progressed to congestive heart failure. Yesterday he had his 7th set of radiographs. Our vet sends the radiographs to a veterinary cardiologist and they discuss how he is doing on his meds and how best to stabilize his breathing on the meds he is taking . . . and he's taking five different meds to assist his heart to beat stronger and to clear the fluid that accumulates around his heart and in his lungs. When he's stable he feels good! He's caught 16 voles in less than a month and his trot is as perky and jaunty as ever. Articles I read state that dogs with CHF can live 6 months to 2 years beyond their diagnosis if cared for and medicated properly. That's a nice bonus, an expensive bonus to be sure, but time feeling well is worth it. When he's feeling a little less than well I can feel it at night when he cuddles up to my side, I can hear his heartbeat through my pillow and feel his elevated breaths as his side is pressed to mine. Steve isn't the first dog I've lost to death and probably won't be the last, considering that Shirley is still breathing but, of course, it doesn't get easier although I try to 'do' it better. Trying to stave off the anticipatory grief by appreciating every day, making sure he gets a daily body scratch and massage, lots of treats and touches, doing his favorite things. Trying to remember that he was always only mine for a limited time. Steve is sweet. Very, very sweet. One of my nicknames for him is Honey Boy . . . sweet like Mother Nature filled him with honey. But we all know everything that lives eventually dies. Alice died, Mavis and Bandit died, Walter and Birdie died and Steve and I will die and I try to remember that we are just completing the cycle, returning to Mother Earth, as it has always been.
Dogs are magical creatures. If you let them, they will change your life and make you a better person - forever.